He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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