Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
