It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
