they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
