fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
