She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
