Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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