he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
