So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Randomize
