all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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