Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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