K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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