No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
