ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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