Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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