Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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