So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm both gender and math confused
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
