so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
