Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize