we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
