i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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