WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
