I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I love you.
Bad choice
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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