At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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