Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
