talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
