i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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