She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize