She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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