I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
