Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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