Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
