so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
