It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
