He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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