i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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