woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
