idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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