My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
