im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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