you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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