There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
operation have a gay friend backfired
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You're like the curious george of whores
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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