My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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