Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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