it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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