Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
