Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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