I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
