Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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