Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
