I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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