great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
