Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
