are you still at the devil's house?
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
