ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
