A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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