Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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