The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Randomize
