so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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