plz talk dirty to me
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
