whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
