I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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