He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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