4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You work out of a Hotel?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
